When the Beatles sang “All you need is love,” for many, these lyrics, albeit incredibly catchy, were received as pithy than a life axiom. Surely, money, power, sex, and personal satisfaction had to be before, or at least neck and neck.., right? Moreover, love in this verse was seen as a verb, to be given as equally as received and, most importantly, a permanent state of being and not a transitory obtainment. Unfortunately, in our go-go world, it’s far too easy to get life’s paradigm askew. It’s time for a revolution and one we call radical grace. Cultivating radical grace goes beyond just being “nice” or “doing the right thing.” It means that we consciously choose to live, speak, and act from a place of deep care and compassion for ourselves and others—especially when it’s the last thing we want to do. That's what makes it radical! In order to have any profound impact within your ecosystem, you must first start from within. That’s right, start by giving yourself radical grace and remove the small inner voice that somehow has a loud and profound effect telling you negative thoughts. Heck, we wouldn’t nor allow others to speak to people in a manner we far too often speak to ourselves.
Bonus: We are not our thoughts, and our thoughts are not our truths.
What are some of your inner thoughts' greatest hits? Track one: I will never be happy. Track Two: I’m not good enough and so on.
So, what can you do about it? Screaming at your inner critic to shut up doesn’t work, and if you think about it, you’re just doing even more yelling at yourself. So, first, your inner critic berates you for not being good enough, and then you berate yourself for having an inner critic!
Instead, one of the best ways to relate to your inner critic is to balance it out with radical grace. Radical grace allows us to deeply listen to and counter our inner critic as we learn to meet our undesired feelings with compassion rather than judgment or blame.
Tell yourself various times the areas you are doing wonderful in this world.
It can take some time to explore how those phrases of self-compassion feel for you. So you can treat this practice as an experiment or an exploration – seeing what it’s like to hear these phrases and, perhaps, take them in.
Imagine hearing these phrases from someone who deeply loves and cares for you if you find it hard to offer them to yourself. To do this, simply recall a person in your life that has been supportive, affirming, encouraging, or kind towards you (if you are having trouble finding someone, imagine a kind figure or character who has inspired you). Then imagine them saying the same phrases to you.
There is a reason they have said those things to and about you, so bringing this person to mind can help you to be all of who you are—the so-called good and bad—and still feel accepted and loved. Remembering people who have been supportive and accepting of you, especially in your hardest moments, can foster the ability to offer kindness to yourself.
If nothing else, an act of radical grace can be simply taking the time to pause, feel your body, and be with your heart in this way. Over time, you can learn to meet life head-on with an attitude of courage and generosity for yourself and others.
From grace comes love, and I, too, believe it’s truly all you need.
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